Universal Civil War
by Joel Fernandez
Many of us have heard of the war in heaven where angels fought against demons and so on and so forth. That war ended in December of 2018 when Metatron the god killer destroyed the demons as well as Satan in definitive and spectacular fashion after almost 15,000 years of conflict. After the conclusion of that millennia old power struggle, Metatron decided to embark on a military campaign with the expressed purpose of destroying all of the monsters that called the abyss home. At the time, everyone thought that the annihilation of the primordial abominations would mean true eternal peace. Today’s conversation will be about the brief yet significant civil war that ensued after the first two epic celestial wars.
As it turns out, there were in fact 20 abysses full of primordial monstrosities. One by one they were discovered, and one by one they were conquered by Metatron and heaven’s military. After the conquest of the 9th abyss, the remaining 11 abyssal kings decided to surrender. That was the day that Metatron transformed all 20 abysses into the 20 heavenly kingdoms of today. You would think that transforming a deep, pitch black network of spirit tunnels that was full of vicious monsters into a heavenly realm that produces angels instead of monsters from the ether would result in eternal peace, but you would be wrong.
One day, Metatron the Soul King decided to manifest every single myth, video game, and miscellaneous work of popular fiction and give them a place inside the Soul Universe proper. As a result, hundreds of trillions of souls were created in order to establish the new way of things. Many of those souls were eligible, female divinities that were born with an innate desire to be with Metatron. They were born with what Metatron believes to be the perfect measurements and unrivaled beauty combined with a pure heart to match. After doing the math, Metatron ended up with over 5.5 billion wives.
That might seem like a lot, but sex drive functions differently in the divine realm. A person’s sexual appetite is commensurate with their power level. As Metatron is strong enough to create and destroy entire universes, 5.5 billion wives might not be enough. At any rate, the other male angels from inside the realm as well as from the 20 outer provinces decided that they wanted to kill Metatron and take both his universe and his wives. As Metatron is the god of war, a battle became inevitable.
It was perhaps the shortest civil war in all of divine history. The first battle was against over 10 trillion male angels from the 20 outer provinces. Normally when Metatron announces that he is going towards the battlefield, heaven’s military follows voluntarily. But this time he was surprised to see that all 27 trillion plus angel mechs showed up without their warrior angel pilots. In all actuality, the angel mechs are sentient, celestial cyborgs who’s power far exceeds even that of the most powerful archangels that are not Metatron. As such, the treasonous, former members of heaven’s military who were veterans of the war against the demons were actually obselete. What’s more, Metatron is strong enough to win wars single-handedly.
The only reason that Metatron brings anyone with him to large scale celestial battles is because it draws the conflict out, giving him a chance to enjoy the carnage for as long as possible in order to slake his blade’s thirst for blood. Besides, Metatron’s undefeated legion of 10 million warrior angels would never abandon him. In fact, Metatron’s legion is the only fighting force in all of heaven’s history that has fought for tens of thousands of years without so much as suffering a single casualty on the way to an undefeated military record. In other words, sometimes less is more.
But Metatron and his legion were not alone in the conflict. The aforementioned angel mechs showed up in full force, as well as every super-powered male divinity that was a able to marry when Metatron decided to enable them to create their own wife. All in all, Metatron led a heavenly fighting force that was over 100 trillion strong. The second and presumably final battle of the universal civil war pitted 40 trillion plus male angels from the 20 outer provinces against Metatron and heaven’s new military. But this time, every male deserter of the old military was among the enemy army on that fateful day.
Such has been the way of things in the spirit dimension since the beginning of time. There have always been power struggles that determine the fate of the status quo, but the scale became existential(both dimensions) when Metatron the Soul King rose to power. This conflict was not just in the separate abysses or between angels and demons, it was a conflict that determined the fate of everyone in existence. Once again, Metatron and heaven’s true military prevailed.
Not long after the battle, Metatron realized that more and more male angels were being born in the outer provinces every day by the trillions. As much as he enjoys slaughtering his enemies, the Soul King realized that he had to come up with a permanent solution to the problem. Destroying the outer provinces entirely was out of the question for two reasons. The first reason is that it is impossible to know the potential ramifications of destroying 20 places that were created by the spirit dimension itself with the apparent purpose of being fonts of life. The second reason is that the 20 outer provinces (heavenly kingdoms) were like foreign countries full of angels who each have a unique culture.
Ultimately, Metatron decided to alter the outer provinces in such a way that they naturally produced spirit animals instead of angels. The all spirit animals have a kind nature if treated properly and are only attracted to each other. Because of this new phenomenon, enemies of the soul universe can be destroyed completely without having to worry about their ranks being replenished by the trillions every single day. Whether or not the remaining male angels that were born after the last battle and before the creation process was altered will raise another enemy army remains to be seen. But if they do decide to make a move, it will probably be the last battle against enemies of the Soul Universe.