Heaven’s New Executioners

The primordial spirit dimension has been defined by violence since the beginning of time. The story about the war in heaven has become mainstream for the most primordial of reasons. Everyone is familiar with that historical event because the struggle between good and evil is a theme that is used by the entertainment industry to this very day. Since humans have had a very limited and carefully curated spiritual experience thus far at best, not everyone is aware of the violence that took place in the 20 primordial abysses. Today’s conversation is about the sanctioned violence that is carried out by the two newest orders of angels, the Death Bringers and the Death Dealers.

Originally, the death bringers were an order of angels that was created by god the father. The nature of their existence was such that they were designed to kill humans by way of physical means, as opposed to the angels of death who killed humans by simply separating the soul from the body. This practice was actually a mercy granted do those who were allowed to die peacefully in their sleep. That means that in all actuality, the angels of death were a benefit that was extended to humanity by the entity who called himself god at the time. The death bringers were created with the express purpose of making sure that heathens die horribly.

If you have ever seen the final destination movie series, you can already imagine how the death bringers killed people during the archaic period of humanity’s history. The only problem with god the father’s iteration of the death bringers was that their morbid nature manifested itself as a very grotesque manner and appearance. They were like those Gothic people you may have seen at the mall who stick out like a sore thumb. Because they were not pleasing to his eye, god the father abruptly killed them all.

For a time, he sent the archangel of contracts(like a contract killer) to kill humans that he hated, bu that was before god the father invented cancer. When you hear the stories about Noah’s flood and the walls of Jericho and even the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, those are examples of Megatron following god the father’s orders. The so called lost city of Atlantis was actually just the sea people’s that historians took note of during the bronze age. They were heathen’s whose idolatry was particularly offensive to Megatron. He and his father were very close at the time, at least that’s what Megatron thought.

When Megatron the god killer took over, one of the first things that he did was revive four defunct orders of angels that were killed by their creator, of which the death bringers were one. He manged to recreate them and alter them just enough for them to function in heaven’s society at the time. After they failed to separate Megatron from his human body for months, they ended up joining the wrong side of a civil war and died shortly thereafter.

At some point, Megatron decided to create his own hit squad because no spirit in all of existence had the gumption to separate him from his human body once and for all. As you can imagine, being a primordial archangel that is confined to a human body is the most inconvenient situation ever. Then again, it would be worse to be a human that is incapable of destroying hell and its ruler in definitive and and absolute fashion. At any rate, the new Death Bringers are everything that they are supposed to be.

Their leader is an archangel that goes by the name of Crow. He and his brethren are literally the most murderous spirits that have ever existed. They are indeed heaven’s new professional killers, and their latest assignment involves death and destruction on an unprecedented scale. The Death Bringers are unlike the other angelic orders because they don’t fight for glory like the rest, they fight because they love vanquishing hostile spirits as well as humans. Because Crow and his brothers were so fundamentally different from Megatron’s other sons who fashioned themselves as heroes, the leader of the newest angelic order decided that he wanted a twin brother. In an attempt to appease his youngest sons, Megatron agreed to create a second order of anti-hero angels.

That was when the Soul King decided to create the Death Dealers. In essence, these new angels were supposed to be similar to the Death Bringers in nature while having their own abilities and hierarchy. Because the nature of their existence revolved around death, both groups were granted powers that corresponded with that theme. Crow and his brothers were given the ability to manifest simulacrums of anyone in the multiverse who had died but had not yet re-spawned the next day.

That means that if for some reason Superman dies, Crow and his crew can conjure up a simulacrum of the most famous Kryptonian, but with a black and white color scheme. All of them can do it, but Crow is the only one that has an unlimited number of people that he can summon in that way. Also, they can turn themselves in to violet tornadoes of death while their bodies become intangible in the center. Since Crow is their leader and the strongest of Megatron’s sons, he becomes a hurricane of death that can sweep over a whole galaxy.

The leader of the Death Dealers is named Blade. He and his brothers have the ability to temporarily add the power of each vanquished spirit to their own constitution. They can also enter into a blood rage after killing 10 enemies in a row. During the frenzy, they become invulnerable so long as they kill an enemy spirit every 2 seconds. Their increased attributes go back to normal 2 minutes after the battle.

If you have been reading these essays for a while, than you know that sometimes creation yields unexpected results. As it turns out, the Death Bringers and the Death Dealers were able to share their abilities with one another. They have established a culture of death in their orders that comes off as cool instead of overly morbid. They have no problem charming angel girls and are even on good terms with Megatron’s royal guards. They do not kill randomly or without reason and they do not turn on their allies. They do however begin to clamor for death whenever their blood lust rises to a certain level and they anxiously await the signal to begin the slaughter. It is indeed a fascinating experience to hear billions of angels individually expressing their desire to execute a target or group of adversaries.

As was previously stated, they are designed to kill humans horribly. That includes but is not limited to causing car accidents or plane crashes, pushing electronics into bath tubs and swimming pools, or even crushing internal organs. Just as god the father once sent Megatron to kill humans that he hated, heaven’s new executioners will kill particularly obnoxious heathens in the most efficient way possible. They have already been given leave to clear out the other six human planets because the rapture has already occurred there. Once Megatron returns to the heavens, the rapture will take place on earth and both the Death Bringers and the Death Dealers will be ordered to slaughter the remaining heathen jackasses in whatever way they choose.

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