The Tyranny of Grammarly

There comes a time in a writer’s life when they have to write their own style. Some people spend a lifetime honing their craft, only to have smug-bastard software contradict decades of experience. Having someone’s arbitrary software correct punctuation and grammar is one thing. Having to tolerate literary effrontery is quite another. Today’s conversation is about how the presumptuous idiots of the literary world must be overthrown posthaste.

It’s almost as if they believe that everyone should write the same way. Let’s be honest, that is exactly what they believe. It flies in the face of everything literature is supposed to stand for. It is an art-form that gives voice to the otherwise voiceless. Some people, believe it or not, write a lot more than they speak. Imagine how offensive it would be to a person whose first language is written rather than spoken, to have have their carefully chosen words labeled inappropriate or misused.

What’s more, there are workplaces that actually swear by it. Nobody is arguing that it is not a useful tool for punctuation and grammar. But the app even calls anyone who do not use their software a fool. It’s literally written in plain English in the form of a quote that supposedly was pulled from Forbes magazine. A lifetime of dedication to a mostly thankless craft, literally whittled down to literary foolishness. As if every great writer that ever lived was appreciated by the unwashed masses of their era.

Furthermore, it is painfully obvious that the smug-bastard software assumes that every reader is a moron. Practically every compound sentence that is reasonably long and separated by one comma is always labeled “wordy”. Perhaps they have not gotten the memo that people are supposed to write words, not machines. Maybe that is what they want, for all writers to be replaced by machines.

That is precisely why their tyranny must be brought to an abrupt halt. The word choice may seem extreme to some. But believe it or not, some of those last few sentences are labeled passive voice. It should be painfully obvious that this is criticism in the harshest of terms. It is the only way to get a point across these days. To use all of one’s literary prowess to lay siege to their castle, so as to storm the keep and knock them from their perch with extreme prejudice.

When history looks back at these words eons from now, the heavens will know that this writer defied the oppression of those who would dare claim to be the masters of literary freedom. No more bowing to the whims of every idiotic editor that can hide their lack of real talent behind their smug-bastard software. Some hearken back to a bygone era when only warrior kings were allowed to rule. If you forget every last word of our conversation today, remember this. Some people write a lot more words than they speak on a daily basis. Yes, those people’s opinions count as well.